Earlier today, the popular online classifieds website Craigslist announced that they would be eliminating their “erotic services” category from their site. This coming after the site was criticized by law enforcement agencies for providing a forum for prostitution and other illegal activities. Well, I think I speak for us all when I say, “Now where I am going to go for group sex with transexuals while smoking crystal meth?”
Craigslist has been in the news a lot lately after the so called “Craigslist Killer” case. Sadly, now without Craigslist to act as an intermediary, other psychopaths will have to actually find prostitutes to murder the old fashioned way (like Jack the Ripper). This of course raises many concerns, especially for us non-hooker citizens who enjoy spending our evenings on poorly lit street corners in bad neighborhoods. I myself have been known to put a mini-skirt, fishnets, and thigh-high boots and loiter around a crack den every once in a while. Not that I’m a transvestite prostitute, mind you, but sometimes a guy just needs to feel pretty.
So who’s going to protect me now? At any moment a crazed killer could snatch me up off the street and perform unspeakable acts to me (ones that would normally cost at least an extra $250), all because I chose to exercise my legal right to charge strange men money for sexual favors.
Hold on.
I am now being informed by my legal counsel that is in fact the textbook definition of prostitution and I am in fact a transvestite hooker. Oops! My bad!
Well, I guess we all learned a lesson here today. I learned that you shouldn’t get into a car with just any man who has 50 bucks and a roll of breathmints, especially if he says he wants to show you his knife collection.