So earlier this afternoon the United States House of Representatives passed the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, better known as the Economic Stimulus Package. The bill passed with a vote of 246 to 183.

These numbers are significant for a couple of reasons, the first and most obvious is that it means not a single Republican voted for it. Not one.

This confuses me.

While I understand that the bill cost $787 billion, and apparently numbers that big give our GOP friends quite a headache (because thinking is hard), it actually included $275 billion for tax cuts. I repeat, $275 billion for TAX CUTS!

If no Republicans were going to vote for it, why the hell did the Democrats include that much money for tax cuts. Aren’t tax cuts pretty much the exact opposite of the standard Democratic platform? Did I miss something?

A note to the Democrats: IF YOU HAVE ENOUGH VOTES TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, YOU DON’T NEED TO PLACATE THE REPUBLICANS! JUST DO IT!

Which of course, brings me to the second significant thing that the vote taught us today. Namely:

IF YOU HAVE ENOUGH VOTES, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!

I mean seriously, Democrats, you need to start thinking outside the box here. You can get any piece of legislation passed that you want. You could have taken that $275 billion and done so much with it, and no one could stop you. To help you in the future, I’ve compiled a list of the top 5 things you could spend $275 billion on.

5) 27.5 billion iTunes downloads. Which should get almost ever album they’ve got on there, give or take one Jonas Brothers CD.

4) 5 billion pony rides. Your children and your children’s children would really appreciate it.

3) Tickets to every Bruce Springsteen concert on his next tour. You may even have enough left over for a t-shirt.

2) HOOKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1) Seriously, hookers. It’s not like you aren’t already spending your own money on them. Just let Uncle Sam foot the bill. In fact, I bet you could totally get one of the hookers to dress up like Uncle Sam. That would be hot.