One of these three men is willing to sleep with Nancy Pelosi for 38 million dollars. Do you know which one?
Earlier today, Congressional Democrats and White House staffers hammered out the details on a $15 million bridge-loan for the Big 3 automakers. One of the stipulations of this bailout deal was the inclusion of a government appointed “Car Czar”.
I repeat this once again, a Car Czar.
I think it is high time that we as Americans finally and as one, put our foot down and say, “Enough”. Not to bailouts or shady business practices or golden parachutes (although now that I mention it, that seems like a good idea too), but we need to say, “Enough!” to the use of the word “Czar” in American government.
We’ve been using the term to describe such high-level government positions as the “Drug Czar”, “Terrorism Czar”, “War Czar”, and my personal favorite, “Cybersecurity Czar”. Now personally, I’ve always found this disconcerting; the terrorism czar sounds a bit too much like a Cossack who’s going to pull me out of my house at night and lock me up in the Gulag. My feelings aside however, when you manage to both rhyme and alliterate a two word phrase, it’s time to pack it up and call it day.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t have the position, I’m just asking that we come up with a more appropriate title.
To help out, I spent all day brainstorming potential titles and I now present my top five:
5. Auto-bailout Overseer
4. Supreme Judicial Executor
3. Chancellor of Germany
2. Herald of Galactus, Devourer of Worlds
1.Polly Prissy Pants
I believe that any one of these would be preferential to Car Czar. Although I’m pretty sure I stole a couple of them from somewhere else.