Do you hear that? That’s the sound of children silently weeping all across America. Why are they crying? Because Six Flags has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.
They’ve reported a $146.3 million drop in revenue in their first quarter this year. Apparently that’s a lot. I have no idea, since I have about two hundred bucks to my name, so really, I have no concept of money in business terms.
Not to scare you however, Six Flags has announced that all 20 of its parks will stay open. Proving that once again, I also have no idea what bankruptcy means. Seriously, I thought that meant you had no money, but it turns out I’m wrong. I now think that it means you have some money, but are stupid and don’t know how to use it so then you need to do something 11 times or whatever and then you get more money. Am I right? Do I still get to ride the Batman coaster? Because really, that’s all I care about. Have you been on that thing? It’s awesome! It’s all like woooosh!
What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the economy. It’s times like this I’m really glad I’m super broke, because if you’re already poor, you can’t become poor. I guess I’m kinda like one of those guys with nothing to lose. Maybe I should fight crime… like Batman! But you know, without the butler, because I’m poor.
