Modern Failure

It should come as no surprise to many of you that Barack Obama hates America. As we learned during the presidential campaign, he his a dangerous, untrustworthy, Socialist Muslim who wants to take our guns away. But his most recent announcement has quite literally taken the cake.

Well, not literally. I supposed I mean figuratively. So, the opposite of literally I guess.

Anyway, Obama has done something so heinously, grievously un-American, that it’s damn near communist! And I’m not even talking about him loosening restrictions on Cuba. I am, of course, talking about Bo, Obama’s new Portuguese Water Dog. That’s right a Portuguese Water Dog.

What’s the matter, Barack? Couldn’t find any American dogs that we’re good enough for your latte-sipping, liberal buddies or weak, allergen-prone children?

I mean seriously, Portugal? Why not North Korea? Yeah, how about a North Korean Atomic Terrier? I bet you would just love that.

On a side note, Water Dog???

What is it, some sort of high-tech, secret military dog made of liquid with the ability reform and reshape its body at will? Because if it is, I totally want one.

Top 3 Greatest Presidential Dogs

3. Checkers – Richard Nixon’s Cocker Spaniel that warmed hearts and inadvertinly caused Water Gate.

2. Laddie Boy – Warren Harding’s Airedale Terrier who threw lavish White House parties, gave more interviews than his master, and had a life-size statue of himself made out of pennies (because pennies suck).

1. Liberty – Gerald Ford’s Golden Retriever was given to him by his daughter Susan, and is by far the most patriotic, freedom-loving dog of all time. End of story.